


wedding bells

by mimizans



Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: F/M, Gen, Internalized Homophobia, M/M, Wedding Planning, Weddings
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-01-05
Updated: 2016-02-08
Packaged: 2018-05-11 23:47:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,874
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5646217
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mimizans/pseuds/mimizans
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>a series of one-shots leading up to and through alex and eliza's nuptials</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. though devotion rules my heart, i take no vows

**Author's Note:**

> hold me down and never let me go  
> my schoolboy grin, it only goes to show  
> that i could never have such control  
> every time you leave  
> every time you leave i wanna go

They were so close to _something_ , once. 

They had laid facing each other in Alexander’s skinny dorm bed, their eyes wide and their breath warm. John can remember exactly the feeling of Alexander’s hand skimming down his arm and coming to rest on his waist, warm and welcome and absolutely terrifying. John kept so still when Alexander leaned in to kiss him that Alexander pulled back, a worried frown on his face, and asked if John was alright.

“No,” John had answered, because he hated being dishonest with Alexander. “No, I don’t think that I am.”

“What’s wrong?” Alexander had asked, shifting closer and cupping a hand around the back of John’s neck.

John hadn’t known what to say, but his body betrayed him. He couldn’t stop the tears that rolled down his cheeks, and when Alexander shushed him and kissed the tears away John only cried harder. 

“I don’t think that I can do this,” John had said through his sobs.

“That’s okay,” Alexander had replied, wrapping his thin arms around John. “We’ve got time.”

And they did have time, back then.

John had slept with Alexander eventually, a few months later; it had been wonderful, and passionate, and Alexander had taken his time and had made John come harder than he ever had before. Afterwards, John made it back to his apartment before he threw up. 

Alexander, always moving forward, always pushing, always in motion, had been patient with him. He had waited. He had tried his best to understand where John was coming from, and why John couldn’t kiss him without guilt gnawing at his stomach. 

It was John who had ended it, who had quashed the little flame Alexander had been guarding so diligently. “I can’t do this,” John had said. “I can’t be with you like you want me to, Alexander, and it’s not fair to you.” 

“I don’t want to lose you,” Alexander had said, his eyes dark with sadness and doubt.

“You won’t,” John had assured him with a watery smile. “We’ll be friends.”

Alexander had pulled him into a hug. “I’m gonna hold you to that, okay?”

“Okay,” John had answered, pressing his face to Alexander’s shoulder and breathing him in. “I don’t want to lose you either.”

And so they were friends. They had carried on studying together and drinking together and sharing things with each other that they never had with anyone else; and if Alexander’s fingers sometimes brushed against his as they walked down the street, or if sometimes Alexander’s fond kisses on the cheek lasted a second too long, well, John was fine with that.

Truthfully, John always thought that someday they would be together, for real.

“Which do you like better, the turquoise, the sea glass, or the... what is that, ‘beach walk?’ What does that even mean?” Alexander asks him now, holding up three nearly identical looking color swatches.

John glances up from his computer, dragging his eyes away from the memo he’s working on. “They all look pretty much the same, man.”

Alexander frowns. “I’m starting to think I’m color blind, because I can’t tell the difference either.”

“What is this for, again?” John asks, raising his voice slightly to be heard over the bustle of the coffee shop mid-morning.

“It’s supposed to be the color for the bowties and waistcoats,” Alexander says, still frowning down at the swatches. “Eliza’s mother handed these to me at dinner the other night and told me I had to pick one.”

John shrugs. “Just pick one, then. Or have Eliza pick it.”

“No, I have to do this,” Alexander says, with the air of a man throwing himself on the sword. “She has enough to do. She was on the phone with the florist for two hours yesterday.”

“That’s a long phone call about flowers,” John comments.

“I think if it were up to her we’d have the wedding in a barn,” Alexander muses. “But she knows that her mom and dad really want her to have a big wedding, so that’s what we’re having.” Alexander pauses for a moment, then laughs. “I hope they don’t try to split the seating between the bride’s friends and family and the groom’s. That would end up being awkward for everyone involved.”

John smiles. “Yeah, considering there’ll be, like, four people on your side.”

“Six,” Alexander corrects him, “if Congressman Washington and his wife come.”

“Oh, right, sorry,” John says, rolling his eyes. “How could I forget.”

“Hey, he’s the closest thing I have to a father figure. Unfortunately,” Alexander says with a grimace. Then, his face softening, he says, “Thanks again, by the way, for being in the wedding. It means a lot to me.”

“No problem,” John says, shortly. He’s trying to stop Alexander before he says something that will make John’s chest clench.

“I mean it,” Alexander says anyway. “You’re important to me, John Laurens, and I wouldn’t want to do this without you.” Alexander is quiet for a moment, and John holds his breath. “I love you, you know.”

And there it is. John feels his heart constrict in his chest.

He imagines a world where this conversation might be different, because he would be the one on the phone with the florist for two hours, and Alexander wouldn’t have to worry about color swatches because John’s mother is dead, and when Alexander told him that he loved him it wouldn’t be heavy with the weight of what might have been. John forces himself to stop that train of thought. Because that’s not the world that they live in. 

Alexander is marrying someone else. Someone who is kind and practical and exactly what Alexander needs, and who has never been anything but sweet to John, even though John knows that she and Alexander talked about all of their past relationships. Eliza knows how things ended (or didn’t end) between them. John wonders if Eliza has guessed that he’s in love with her fiance. She probably has, he admits to himself. She’s just too kind to make John feel awkward, and too in love with Alexander to think that he would act on feelings for an ex.

“I love you too,” John says finally, because he knows it’s safe to say now, as sad as that is. Nothing will come of it. His words are not a door opening to possibilities, they’re a book closing on the final page. 

Alexander smiles at him, a little sadness in the corners of his mouth, and John smiles back. Then he looks away and gets back to work.


	2. look at you and see the eyes of may

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> in which peggy and angelica nostradamus the hell out of alexander's future fuck-ups

Two hours in and the reception is still in full swing. The open bar is being soundly abused, mostly by Alexander’s boisterous friends, and the dancefloor is full of happy, buzzed guests relishing the warm summer breeze that whistles through the oak trees on the Schuyler family’s grounds. The big canvas-topped tent that is serving as the reception hall is rustic and simple, and flowered garlands and lights wind around the support poles and continue overhead. Angelica watches as Eliza and Alexander makes the rounds, stopping at each table to receive congratulations and to give thanks. They’re as vivacious as always; Eliza, in a pristine fairytale dress, has knelt down to tease a small cousin, and Alexander, practically glowing with happiness, is busy charming a great aunt.

“Aren’t you worried at all?” Peggy asks. Angelica glances at her sister, who makes quite a picture. Peggy long ago ditched her gold heels and is now sitting cross-legged in her chair, the blue tulle of her bridesmaids dress billowing up around her like a cloud. Their parents made her dye most of the pink out of her hair for the wedding, but the underside is still a riotous shade of bubblegum. 

“About what?” Angelica asks, taking a sip of her wine and turning her attention back to Eliza and Alexander, who have moved to the bar to talk to Alexander’s garrulous friends. 

“That he’ll, you know... mess up,” Peggy says, and has the good sense to say it quietly. “Cheat on her, or something.”

“No,” Angelica says, shaking her head.

Peggy rolls her eyes. “Says the person he’s most likely to cheat with.”

“Peggy!” Angelica snaps. They’ve had this conversation before, most recently at a friend’s party, and that time Peggy had made her joke where Alexander could hear her. He had laughed it off, but Angelica knows her sister well enough to know that Peggy is only half joking.

“Oh, please,” Peggy scoffs. “I’ve seen the way you two are together. If it weren’t for Eliza you’d be all over each other.”

“If it weren’t for Eliza,” Angelica emphasizes, giving Peggy a quelling look. “You know that I would never do that to her. She deserves to be blissfully happy and I would never try to take something so important away from her.” Angelica pauses for a moment, hesitating. She's sure of her own resolve, but... She knows, viscerally, that Alexander is always bursting at the seams - with energy, with ambition, with unbridled emotion - because she feels those same things herself. She can't begrudge Peggy her concern; Angelica too worries about what Alexander might do if he ever becomes overwhelmed or preoccupied or restless. Angelica is very aware of just how much of her sister’s soft heart this man holds in his hands, and of the kind of irreparable damage he could be capable of inflicting.

Angelica also knows that she shouldn’t tempt fate. She shouldn’t tell Peggy any of this. So she says quietly, “I don’t think Alexander would do that to her either.”

Peggy looks unconvinced. “He starts drooling like a cartoon wolf every time someone hot walks into a room,” she says. Angelica can hear the genuine worry hidden beneath the hyperbole in her sister’s voice, and is instantly glad that she chose not to share her concerns with Peggy, who for all her confidence and bravado is still teetering on the last edge of childhood. 

Angelica lays a calming hand on Peggy’s knee. “He’s flirtatious,” she agrees tactfully, swirling the wine in her glass. “He likes to be wanted and he likes to make beautiful people smile at him. But that doesn’t make him a cheater, Peggy.” Angelica stops here, trying to choose her words carefully. “It’s completely possible to flirt without it meaning anything. You just have to make the choice not to take it farther than that. I... I think he’s smart enough to know when to stop,” she finishes, and she knows she’s saying it to reassure herself as much as to reassure Peggy. She takes a moment to offer her words up in quiet supplication, a prayer to the universe that Alexander, whom she loves and for whom she wants only the best, will be smart enough to want the best for himself as well. 

The sisters are quiet for a moment, Peggy’s usually animated face still and thoughtful. Etta James’ voice floats out over the chattering crowd, and Angelica watches as Alexander leads her sister to the dancefloor and pulls her gently into his arms. They sway to the music, their feet barely shuffling, and Alexander speaks quietly next to Eliza’s ear. Whatever he’s saying makes her lips curve into a soft smile, and then it makes her blush deeply and tug on his ponytail. Alexander laughs and kisses her forehead; Eliza closes her eyes, her dark eyelashes laid against her cheek, and lays her head on his shoulder.

“He does love her,” Peggy says, and Angelica turns to see her watching their sister and new brother-in-law intently.

“Yes, he does,” Angelica agrees. “Do you think I would’ve let him marry her otherwise?”

Peggy laughs, the tense moment broken. “At Last” fades away to scattered applause, and the first groovy bars of “September” float out of the speakers. “I love this song!” Peggy exclaims. She stands up from her chair and tulle floats down to her ankles. “Let’s go dance!” she says, grabbing Angelica’s hand and pulling her up from her chair. 

Angelica laughs as Peggy leads her out to the dancefloor, where Eliza and Alexander, newly joined by Lafayette, Laurens, Mulligan, and a reluctant Aaron Burr, are apparently having a contest to see who can show off the best-worst dance move. Angelica and Peggy arrive just in time to see Lafayette bust out his Travolta impression, much to the delight of everyone around him.

Angelica sidles up to Eliza and sneaks an arm around her waist. “How are you?” Angelica asks.

“Happy,” Eliza replies, and she looks it: breathlessly, deliriously, blindingly happy.

“Good,” Angelica says, and kisses her sister’s cheek. “And I hope that you always are.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ["mmmm watcha say" plays distantly in the background]
> 
> i promise not all of these will be high-key depressing lmao


	3. Chapter 3

“I’m going to ask Eliza to marry me,” Alexander says, and Angelica sighs. She’s seen this coming for awhile; Eliza confided in her that Alexander Hamilton, bona fide genius, had left a Google maps search for nearby jewelry stores open on the home laptop before he left for work, and Alexander had texted Peggy trying to confirm that Eliza’s favorite flower was indeed peonies. 

“Alexander,” Angelica says, playing with the straw in her drink, “you do know that it’s my parents you’re supposed to be asking for permission, right?”

“Yes, I’m aware,” Alexander replies with a wry smile. “I just... wanted to tell you first.” There’s uncertainty in his voice, which Angelica finds odd.

“She’s going to say yes, if that’s what you’re worried about,” Angelica tells him, frowning.

“No, it’s not that.” Alexander pauses here, looking intently at Angelica. “I wanted to make sure that us getting married was okay with _you_.”

“What do you mean?” Angelica asks. She’s sure she knows what he means, and why he’s asking her this question, but she wants to hear him say it.

“I mean that we dated,” Alexander replies, not missing a beat. “And when we broke up, it wasn’t because we didn’t get along or because we weren’t attracted to each other any more.”

Angelica nods. “It was because we agreed that while we loved each other, it wasn’t a marriage kind of love.” 

“Yes,” Alexander agrees. “And I know we said that, but I just wanted to make sure that you still felt that way. I love Eliza, so much, but I wouldn’t want to jeopardize my relationship with you, Angelica. I love you too, you know.”

Angelica laughs loudly, and Alexander looks momentarily taken aback by her response. “Don’t tell me you’re just now worrying about how our relationship will change!” Angelica says through her smile. “You’ve been dating my sister for a year!”

“But now I’m marrying your sister,” Alexander points out. “And that’s different.”

“Look, Alexander,” Angelica says, leaning back in her chair. “Can I be completely honest with you? Because I don’t see a point in dancing around this.” 

Alexander nods.

“We never stopped being attracted to each other,” Angelica says, and is gratified to see that Alexander nods again in agreement. This will all go so much more smoothly if he’s prepared to be honest too. “We never stopped caring about each other. And that’s okay, because we both love Eliza more than anything in this world,” Angelica says, her voice earnest and clear. “I can be attracted to you and still recognize that you and Eliza have a marriage kind of love. I would never want to get in the way of that.”

“I like the way that you and I are together,” Alexander says, looking down at the table. “We have fun, and I don’t want that to change because there’s a ring on my finger.”

Angelica shrugs. “What would change? We’re scandalously flirtatious. That’s our thing,” she says with a laugh.

“People already say that there’s ‘something going on between us,’” Alexander says, putting scare quotes around the words and laughing along with her.

“People are stupid. It doesn’t matter what anyone else thinks, Alexander,” Angelica says, “because we know the reality of the situation, and so does Eliza. We would never do that to her.”

“No, never,” Alexander echoes, nodding.

“Sometimes in life we have to make choices, you know?” Angelica says, shrugging. “We closed the door on our relationship. We made that choice. But look at what we got out of it!” Angelica smiles at Alexander and takes his hand. “You got the most amazing future wife in the world, and I got a fabulous brother-in-law who I can always count on to make an inappropriate joke.”

Alexander laughs as he squeezes her hand. “I don’t know why I ever doubted you, Angelica. As always, you are far wiser than me.”

Just then, the waitress returns to their table with their checks. Angelica smiles and accepts hers, flipping it open to see her total. “What can I say, I have a gift. Maybe I was an oracle in another life, imparting messages from the gods,” she jokes. “But hey, seriously. I know you. Don’t let yourself get caught up in uncertainties and what-ifs. That’s the fastest way to _actually_ mess up.” 

“Hmm?” Alexander hums, looking up from his check.

“Appreciate your life for what it is,” she says simply. “Just... promise me that you’ll make her happy.”

“There’s nothing else I’d rather do,” Alexander tells her, and Angelica believes him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> basically i'm done looking at this so here it is lmao

**Author's Note:**

> sorry for the long break! the holidays are just too busy
> 
> also, check out these #aesthetic mixes i made. you can probably tell who's who, and i have a couple more in the works  
> http://8tracks.com/mimizans/firebrand  
> http://8tracks.com/mimizans/peach


End file.
